It's that time of day - Take the Ball to the Corner

Thank **** it's Friday

Author

Jamie Langton
March 28, 2025

Taking the Ball to the Corner

“A strategic move, typically employed by workers in the final minutes of the workday, to drag out time and avoid further tasks or responsibilities.”

Welcome to the Ball in the Corner newsletter. A weekly email with a selection of random match reports from around the world, FPL picks, AI insights, and useless facts. Share with your mates if you find it mildly entertaining.

Enjoy the first issue!

Fantasy Premier League - My Pick of the Week

Here’s an ultra differential for you..

Jean-Ricner has been in great form for Wolves, assisting Wolves’ last three Premier League goals, earning a nomination for the Premier League's EA Sports Player of the Month award. Not to mention, a very winnable fixture against West Ham is coming up. Don’t even worry about waiting for the FA cup games to be done, get him in!

Crazy Games from Around the World

At first glance, this I-League (Indian Men’s Second Division) clash from last weekend might not have seemed like anything special, but it was packed with drama. Several near misses from both sides in the opening half-hour set the stage for a stunning opener from Pape Gassama, who curled the ball beautifully into the far corner from outside the box.

As the game drifted along, Churchill Brothers would have felt unlucky not to be two or three ahead - and they would soon rue their missed chances. With seven minutes of stoppage time added, Sreenidi Deccan FC had one last chance to salvage a point. After Churchill Brothers squandered yet another opportunity in the 98th minute, the boys in blue went straight up the other end and won a penalty after some comical defending (and equally questionable camera work). Lalliansanga Renthlei took a wild swing at the ball, taking down Lalromawia in the process.

Managers fuming, tensions high, but the penalty was unconvincingly tucked away, sealing a 1-1 draw and a bump in the road for likely champions Churchill Brothers.

This game from the Chilean Primera División deserves a mention, but not necessarily for the right reasons. The reason? Violence. A quite shocking display of ferocity started in just the 10th minute of the game, when the first red card was issued for some good-old ‘studs down the back of the calf’ action. Lovely. From then on, it was clear the poor ref lost control. A further six yellow cards followed before the half-time whistle.

The second half started on a similar note, with a red card being held high in the sky in minute 51. The mere off-the-ball scuffle that led to this card felt almost soft in comparison. Nevertheless, if the fire was not already lit in the bellies of both sets of players, it definitely was now.

Further nasty challenges, and a presumably increasingly terrified ref, led to a total of 13 cards in the game. For reference, the average in a Premier League game is 4. If this has taught me anything, it’s that the English game is actually very, very polite compared to some.

AI Insights

Perplexity.ai plays the 6 scores challenge:

If you’re a bit like me (an idiot), you might sometimes place a bit too much trust in AI. You might even use it to help predict a few football scores. With this in mind, here is Perplexity’s best guesses for the Bet365 6 scores challenge this weekend (please note I am not advocating the use of AI for betting purposes):

  • Cardiff City 1-2 Sheffield Wednesday

  • Norwich City 1-1 West Bromwich Albion

  • Stoke City 2-1 Queens Park Rangers

  • Brighton 3-1 Nottingham Forest

  • Preston North End 2-2 Aston Villa

  • Bournemouth 1-3 Man City

Actually, I might stick a quid on this…

ChatGPT does…5-a-side tactics:

Recently, our 5-a-side team has been struggling, big time. So we turned to ChatGPT to help. Turns out, clever prompting is all you need - here’s what the gaffer suggested:

The Hoover (A.K.A. “Suction Press”)

One guy chases the ball, the rest keep a solid 3-1 formation.

One player (preferably the least liked) relentlessly presses EVERYTHING.

The other four just hold their shape and shout encouragement like “Go on, lad!” and “He doesn’t want it!”

If the Hoover gets beaten, panic ensues.

  • Pros: Less running for most of the team.

  • Cons: The Hoover will eventually collapse, either physically or emotionally.

Looking forward to giving this one a go.

Fact of the Day

On this day in 1986, the first ever game of football for the San Marino National Team was played. Since then, San Marino have had 213 official matches and, shockingly, have only won 3 of them. Wait until you hear the goal difference too: -802. Jesus.

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